Doing Empty Nesting Right

We work with our clients long term, advising them through multiple life stages – getting married, having kids, building a career or business and then into retirement. It’s during times of change that emotions run high, while life decisions need to be made. But, before you can determine how to deal with change financially, you need to clarify your new direction and goals.

One of the most underestimated life changes is when kids grow up and leave home. As a parent, your life has been devoted to raising your kids, ensuring their health, safety and happiness, and guiding them towards a rewarding future. When the time comes for them to leave home, it can leave many parents feeling a little lost. But there are ways to embrace this new life stage, which we discuss on our latest podcast. Here are six steps you can take to not only cope with empty nest syndrome but also flourish as a free bird!

1. Establish a new routine

As parents, we are used to busy routines. While we’re in the thick of it, many of us look forward to the day when we can have more downtime for ourselves. But as the kids grow up and their needs change – particularly when they move out – many of us are surprised at the loss we feel. We don’t quite know what to do with the extra time and that can lead to feeling sad, anxious and even depressed.

It's important to establish new routines. Think about joining a class you’ve wanted to try or, now that you have a little more time in the morning, how about sitting down to read the paper and eat breakfast? Dinner with friends? Creating new routines will help you create a new sense of purpose.

2. Focus on your physical health

As busy parents, we often put our own needs last. Now is the time to refocus your energy. One of the best things you can do is to get serious about your health and fitness goals. Think about joining a gym or taking up pilates. Even a daily walk to get those steps in. This is important not only to ensure you give yourself every chance to stay healthy as you age but also for your mental health.

3. Celebrate your child’s independence

As parents, we work hard to raise strong, confident children in hopes of giving them the launching pad for a happy and productive future. So, when the time comes to let them move forward toward their independence, it’s important that we not only support that but also applaud it. And you know what, give yourself a pat on the back too! You did it!

4. Find your purpose / feed your passions

As your parental obligations become less, now is the time to solidify your purpose and explore your passions. Maybe there’s a charity you’ve wanted to get involved in or a class you’ve been thinking of taking. By diving into new ideas or ones you’ve had in the back of your mind for years, you can really move forward into this new life phase, looking ahead with excitement instead of mourning what you’ve left behind.

5. Make plans

If you’re anything like we were with three kids, our Saturdays were spent running from the hockey arena to dance class, to birthday parties. It’s easy then, once the kids are gone, to get into a rut and not know what to do with yourself. So, make a plan! There are so many great things to do and see in your own city. Go to the art gallery or walk around a cool neighbourhood in your city you have never explored. It’s about feeding your passions and interests. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune and you don’t have to travel around the world, if that’s not your thing. But get out there and make new memories!

6. Improve your financial health

Finally, while there are a lot of emotions attached to becoming an empty nester, there are financial implications that should also be addressed.

Once your kids are grown and have moved out, it’s a time to re-focus on your finances. You are in the latter part of your peak earning years and, with arguably fewer expenses (the kids are off the payroll, so to speak), if you need to amp up your savings, now is the time to do that. Revisit your current and future goals to ensure that your financial plan continues to be aligned with where you’re headed.